I have finally (yes finally) stepped into life on my own with 3 littles. Life is INSANE at the present moment, even when it is good, it is insane. We are working on finding out rhythm and everyone finding their place in the family, but it has come with little outbursts, crying fits or pushing limits. There have also been moments of complete bliss when everyone is gathered in the same room or I walk in to find my two sweet girls cuddled under a blanket together playing a make believe game. I have also learned that in this season of life I have no control, and thats hard for me. I can control what we are doing, but I cannot control my children, as much as I'd love to at times.
I've told numerous friends that life with 3 is not much different than life with 2 and I can understand why people say adding more isn't as much of an adjustment. The biggest difference is I do not breathe or stop to sit (EVER!!). From 6:45am til 11pm my life is moving. Here is what our day looks like on a school day (yes, I am a schedule fanatic).
6:45 - My alarm goes off and I put on clothes and get myself ready for the day, including my breakfast
7:15 - Set out the girls breakfasts
7:30 - LD gets the girls up, dressed and starts them on breakfast while I feed Cole
8-8:30 - Brush teeth, do hair, put on shoes and coats, and pack backpacks
8:30-9:30 - Drop off at preschool (yes, this takes us an hour, which is sadly why Clare is going to a closer preschool next year)
9:30-10:30 - Cole naps and Elle and I enjoy an hour of playtime, snack and my sanity cup of coffee and if I'm really luck a shower for mommy
11:00 - Cole eats
11:30 - 12:30 - Elle and I make and eat lunch
12:30-1:30 - School pick up
1:30- 4 - Elle naps
2-4 - Clare has "rest time" (sometimes its a nap, sometimes its reading books and playing)
2:00 - Feed Cole
4-5 - Snack time and playtime
5pm - Feed Cole
5:30-6- Make dinner and girls have tv time
6:45 - We are upstairs for the evening - baths, books, songs, family time
7:00- LD is usually home around 7
7:30- Girls bedtime
8:00 - Feed Cole
8:30- Pack lunches for tomorrow, clean the kitchen, laundry, etc
11pm - Feed Cole and CRASH!!!!!
He is still eating at 2 and 5 at night
So that insanity is more for my own personal record to look back and think "Wow, I lived a life of intensity and I survived!" I keep reminding myself that this is a season, just a season.
Last night I read a devotional out of a book my neighbor had bought for me called "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp and this is the part that struck me:
"For a moment, longer, I hold him-and life- and I hold it mindfully, attentively...thankfully. Life at its fullest is this sensitive, detonating sphere, and it can be carried only in the hands of the unhurried and reverential - a bubble held in awe." At a different part in the devo she says that life is not an emergency.
So yes, this is a season of life I have been called to and at times I can't see anything but what is in front of me. Its a time of life when my friendships sit on the back burner, when I have no idea what is happening in the world around me and when my daily priority is that my kids are fed, clean, and feel loved. BUT, if I choose to stop and hold this bubble, be grateful for it and choose not to hurry, I will experience life at the fullest in this chaos.