I am blessed - a lot. I look around at the life LD and I live and am in awe of where God has placed us and all he has entrusted in our care. We have two beautiful, healthy little girls. We have a precious little boy on the way. LD has a job that he enjoys and provides abundance for our family. I love our new home and truly love our neighborhood. I love the church we attend and the friends God has placed in our lives. I am blessed.
I know that others cannot say the same right now in their life and this pregnancy has caused me to be very aware of the pain of friends around me. As I carry this healthy little boy that we prayed for I cannot help but think about a sweet friend who lost her baby at 16 weeks in utero for no medical reason. I think about our dear friends who daily live in heartache for their son who was taken from this world at age 6 - 8 short months ago. My heart is heavy for a friend who has been unable to have children of her own and waits daily to get a call that a mother has chosen her to adopt their baby. I wait anxiously with friends who are on an adoption waiting list, waiting for two little children from Ethiopia.
This joy that I have of carrying this sweet child has caused others pain - simply by being. I know that not one of those friends desires to feel heartache. Today I read 1 Peter 2:19 "For it is commendable if someone bears up under the pain of unjust suffering beacause they are conscious of God." Not one of those individuals would choose the pain they have suffered in order to be commendable.
I live with a small fear, a fear I fight with daily. In the back of my mind I am always wondering "when will the other shoe drop?" "when is God going to give me my test of faith?" I know in my heart that my God does not work like that. Romans 8:28 says that God works all things together for GOOD for those who love him, and I know that, so why do I fight this fear?
We live in such a broken world and the heartache is so great. Today I choose to be thankful for the blessings God has placed in my life, be aware of the pain that surrounds me and be faithful to lift up those in heartache. I also choose today to trust that my God is good, even though the world is broken, He is faithful.