Monday, I didn't expect to go to he doctors for what I knew was a MRSA spot on Cole. I had diligently for six months made sure no one bathed together, shared a towel, tubs were bleached, we used special cleanser and used medication to "decolonize" all of our family. But there it was. We started medication and all four of us lay hands on Cole pleading for Gods protection.
Tuesday, I didn't expect to end up at Levine children's hospital with my baby boy, where his infection site needed iv treatments. I didn't expect that come Thursday I would still be sitting here. I didn't expect that while I was here I would fight demons of inadequacy, anger, and pity.
Wednesday, I didn't expect LDs car not to start as he drove the girls to a friends who would take them for the day while I waited at the hospital and he finally spent time at work this week. I didn't expect Coles iv to stop working, causing us to put in a new one. And I certainly didn't expect to get a call saying our home was rezoned to a new school district for Clare for next year, leaving me anxious about what that means for the fall.
My dad sent me a devotion that I read at 2:30 am waiting for Coles meds to be changed out. It said that the enemy only goes after those who are a threat to him. As a Christ follower, if I am a threat to the enemy he is going to make life hard for me. Those who are dead to Christ aren't a threat to the enemy, therefore don't need to be Challenged. It also reminded me that the Bible tells us over and over through trials we are refined, made like gold. Through trials my faith is proved genuine.
This week is hard. I have cried. I have thrown full out rages in my mind. And when I go home I have a lot of work to do to start all over at how to decolonize our family from this mess so we don't end up here again.
But I decided January 1st that I was counting graces, blessings. So here they are:
-cole did not need surgery
-my husband has been a rock of strength and guidance
-my mama is on her way
- a friend came to hold cole so I could take a breath
-friends sit at Jesus feet on my behalf
-we have great nurses
-my baby boy has made others smile
- my girls are resilient
-i am loved completely
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.